Sam's Club

Dallas is still in his insanely busy busy season.  He hasn't been home for any meals, so the kids and I just make do nearly every day.  Last night as Dallas crawled into bed and I was half asleep, he asked, "Marissa?  Can you please go shopping tomorrow and get some food?"  I died laughing.  He noticed making do is hardly even getting the job done these days.

So, this morning I took a BIG trip to Sam's Club.  As in, two carts trip.  Like, $600 trip.  Couldn't see over my cart trip.  Yes, it was big.

We only go to Sam's two to three times a year, but when we do we stock up.  Thankfully we have the largest deep freezer you've ever seen (we joke the house was built around it), so it allows me to buy enough frozen fruit and waffles to last awhile.

One lady said to me, "I've never seen a cart so full."  Thanks for stating the obvious, Ma'am.  I responded, "I'll be glad I don't have to spend my summer at the grocery store."  Also obvious.

On the way home, I told Dallas that the first one to make the statement, "There's nothing to eat!" will starve for the day and then some.

I love Sam's.  Buying in bulk is therapeutic.  The end.

One year ago...

One year ago I was two days out from being induced to *finally* meet our little girl.  Dallas still didn't have all his crops planted, everybody who was due around me or after me was having their babies, and I had gone in for [too many] false alarms.  It was quite the time.

The week of the kids' first birthdays I always get so sentimental, or emotional, whatever you like to call it.  They change so much that first year.  One year ago, I was the only one who knew my baby's patterns, how her rump felt and her elbow stuck out, and when she was awake or sleeping.  Now, so many people get the joy of knowing her.  It's awesome.  But so was a year ago, even in the misery of being huge and uncomfortable, when it was just me and her.

I remember this week a year ago, savoring every last minute with the "big kids."  We went to parks, on walks, out for ice cream, out to eat, to the grocery store; everything we could possibly squeeze in while it was still "easy," and "just us."  Funny how quickly the "us" changes.  I had the anticipation and excitement of meeting our girl, but also the guilt of changing the lives of the others' so drastically.  My wise husband reminded me that a sibling is the best gift we could ever give them.  And so, I enjoyed the last two days with them, happily.

I was looking through photos of Ruby's birth day and the day after today.  It's amazing.

Oh, Ruby Joy.  I can't believe you will be ONE in two days.  Everybody says how fast it goes.  And I say, it's true.

Summer Time!

I love summer.  We are not even a week in, and already it's been marvelous.

These are the days.

8 years.

Dallas and I celebrated eight years of wedded bliss this week!  To say marriage is my very favorite gift on this earth is an understatement.  I love relationships, friendships, intentionality, conversation, and companionship.  Nothing fills my cup like what I share with my husband.

We had a lovely evening!  We dropped the kids off with Papa and Nana (thank you!!) and headed to the rooftop of our favorite restaurant, Montage.  As we were leaving, I mentioned that it was our anniversary and this was "our place," so thank you.  They gave us two truffles/cake balls, two candles, a thing of matches, and told us to go somewhere and celebrate.  What a treat!  We walked along the river, found a cute little bench, talked about our first conversations 14 years ago, our wedding day 8 years ago, and everything in between.  We ate our truffles and mozied back to the minivan (romantic) for a little drive.  We ended the night back at Papa and Nana's enjoying Scratch cupcakes with the family.  Perfection.

I know it sounds so cliche, and a little bit corny, but when I look back at our wedding day I remember feeling so in love.  While the "honeymoon" feeling of love might not be as strong as it was then, it's a different kind of love.  It's stronger, more intense, and even better.  I will choose him every single day, even on the days that are hard (and annoying).  I am so very thankful for our marriage, and still can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

Then...

...Now.

Some days...

A lot of days are good around here.  Like, really good.

Some days, though.

This morning, all before 9:00....

Charlie wanted popcorn kernels for his grain auger.  No big deal.  But, he accidentally dumps the entire bag.  As I am picking up the rug (covered in kernels) and shaking it outside, I walk back in to find...

Ruby with an entire box of Lucky Charms on the ground.  I literally opened the box this morning, so it was plum full.  She was pretty proud of herself.  As if an open buffet of Lucky Charms wasn't enough...

Layla got a box of brand new crackers out of the cupboard. As I was walking to help her open them, she pushed the bag together to "pop" it open, and every single cracker fell out the bottom onto the floor.

So many things wrong with all this.  We don't let the kids "graze," so why they were helping themselves, I don't know.  Lucky Charms are a treat, and well, now they are gone as fast as they got here.  And Layla immediately said, "Charlie did it."  Why?  I was right there and saw her.  I wasn't mad about the spill, but now we had a whole new issue.

I am thankful I was able to laugh this morning about this.  My perspective was probably better due to my incident this weekend.  We had two rounds of company this weekend, so I made one big bowl of a southwest pasta salad.  I cut up veggies, cilantro, green onions, on and on and on.  I made a double batch, as to feed both groups.  As I went to put the bowl in the fridge, I dropped it!  Even moms have accidents.  I wanted to cry.  Instead we laughed.

I am thankful for the good days.  Some mornings we just need a start over.  That's just what we did.

Losing Weight.

I've had a lot of comments lately about the weight I've lost.  Yes, I have.  And, thank you!  I have worked my tail off, and it feels good for the work to be noticed.

While I say I've worked my tail off, there is not a single thing I have given up.  Not sugar, not grains, not dairy.  Nothing.  I can't do that forever.  I could do it for a time, sure.  But, I need something I can do long term.

Speaking of long term, all this weight I've lost has been a work in progress since September.  September.  It has been slow and steady.  Some weeks I gain.  This is life, and life happens.

I've done a fine job losing weight a lot of times.  Sigh.  It will always be something I have to deal with, but I've decided that if this is my worst cross to carry, I am a-ok.  Every baby I don't want to gain so much weight, but I do.  So, it's rolling around Ruby's first birthday, and alas, I'm getting back there.

The thing I am so grateful for is the long line of women before me and beside me, and my husband.  We are not a small family.  Period.  But, I hear constantly how beautiful we all are.  What makes us that way?  Our confidence.  My mom and sisters have never once made me feel like what we are, even at our heaviest, is not good enough.  We are all thrilled with a size 10.  Not many women can say that.  I am so thankful.  Our beauty isn't our size, because we aren't small.  Yet I think my sisters and mom absolutely radiate in a way that is not defined by the scale.

And my hubby?  He loves me (and my body) more than I can fathom.  I am really grateful he isn't even a fan of "skinny," but I do love to make his long eyelashes twitch a bit.  He doesn't show more, or withhold, a bit of love and affection no matter my size.  He is the best.

All this to say, it's nice to feel good about myself and be able to be active with my children.  I like putting on an outfit and walking out the door, instead of trying on five different pair of pants and still hating what I end up with.  A healthy lifestyle is good.  Really good.  We have one body, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and I want to honor God with it.  My issue all along hasn't really been the number, but my self control and discipline.  Denying myself chocolate cake after a long day with the kids?  I think not.  This is where I am wrong.  That is not what food was made for.  Food was certainly made for enjoyment, but also for fuel.  I want to enjoy food, because I enjoy it.  No more mindless eating just because.  It is sinful to not deny myself.  I do it so many other areas of my life, and it's time to attack this stupid area too.

So, practically speaking, what have I done?  Weight Watchers works for me.  You can eat anything, you don't have to take anything special, and I confess I am a repeat offender.  Because, it works.  I am also having accountability with a friend.  This is key.  I can lie to myself all I want, but to weigh in front of my friend?  That brings it up a level.  I'm not tracking like I should be, and I don't always stay within my limit.  But, for the most part, I am putting points to my food.  It all has a value, and I decide if that value is worth it.

Some changes, food ideas, and go to's....
1. Rice cakes.  They are crunchy, and only one point.  They probably won't be the highlight of your day, but they are good.  If you need more, add Nutella to a caramel rice cake, or peanut butter to an apple rice cake.  You'll be surprised.  It's not so bad.
2. Joseph's brand Lavash bread.  It's 2 points, but can easily be cut in half for 1 point.  Get a Weight Watchers cheese stick (1 pt), roll it in 1/4 of the lavash wrap, nook it for 20 seconds, and dip it in some spaghetti or pizza sauce.  I have two of these, and it's 4 points total.  Really good!
3. Smucker's sugar free jam is NO points.  I take Sara Lee 45 calorie bread (1 pt.), toast it with 1 T. WHIPPED Peter Pan peanut butter (2 pts.), and some of the 0 pt. jelly.  That's 3 points.  Want a sandwich?  Put another piece of 1 pt. bread on it.
4. Veggie Wraps.  My friend got me hooked on these.  I use either the Lavash Bread or the bread.  Get some 1/3 less fat vegetable cream cheese, spread it on, sprinkle on some sunflower seeds if you want, then load on the veggies (carrot shreds, peppers, lettuce, cucumbers).  This is seriously SO good.
5. Turkey hot dogs.  Oscar Meyer 95% fat free I believe.  They are 2 points.  Add an 80 calorie Sara Lee bun for 2 points, and you have a 4 point hot dog.  Sometimes a person just has to have a hot dog, and this is the way to do it.
6. Smoothies.  I put together smoothie packets in the freezer.  A baggie of spinach, half a banana, and frozen fruit.  It makes smoothies more convenient and easy to just pull out, instead of having to get everything out.  Dump the bag in, add some almond milk or orange juice, yogurt if you want, I always add more water, and voila.

I can't think of any more things off the top of my head, but plan to add more as I think of them.  Losing weight doesn't have to be miserable.  I have to be realistic about it, eat a Scratch cupcake with a friend from time to time, and be content in who I am, no matter the size.  I am worth more than how the scale defines me.

But, I have a plan (and plan ahead) and do control what I eat when I can.  Situations come up daily I can't control, and I will not feel guilty about those.  I eat whatever the family eats every night.  I don't want them to think I can't have what they have, because I can.  Thankfully, my kids are in sanely good eaters, but we have pizza too.  It is all about balance.

So, there you have it.  I'm still a work in progress.  I've done this before, and I'll do it again.  It feels good to feel good.

Contact Update

Maleah is still surprising me with how well she is adjusting to her contact.  We have had both funny and frustrating moments with it.

Funny...

Last week, Maleah came home and told me her contact came out at recess.  I asked her how she dealt with that problem, and she assured me she went into the bathroom and put it back in.  What?!  No way did I believe her, because we spend so.much.time working to get that thing in every single day.  It could not be possible she just put it back in her eye in the school bathroom with no help.

So, what do I do?  I contact Mr. Nuiver who was on recess duty when this happened.  I asked him if she did, in fact, have her contact fall out.  He answered with, "Yes, it did."  I then asked him if it was true that she went inside and put it back in by herself.  He answered with, "Yes, she did."  I laughed and explained to him how I have put sweat and tears into this stinkin' contact every morning, and then boom, she just plops it back in by herself?  He answered, "That is the wonder of growing up quickly.  She wouldn't want to call her mom for that."  True.  I apologized for bothering him and thanked him for his time.  His last comment was, "You are welcome.  And, you should trust your kid."  Oh, did we have a good laugh!

Frustrating...

The other night she went to take her contact out and was obviously struggling big time.  Her eye was turning red, watering, and she was getting discouraged.  We looked further into things and realized there was no contact.  Weird.  Somewhere along the way her contact had fallen out and she did not know it.

This was the perfect opportunity to put her "dailies" to use.  We were just putting that off, and now we had no other option.  Those dailies, I tell ya.  They are HARD.  After a lot of trying and way too much stress, I called the eye doctor and asked for another option.  They were so gracious and gave us a different kind.  We are back on track.

During that time, though, Maleah had to wear her glasses.  I think I did not realize the hardship for her, even with her glasses.  Piano and violin have come so much easier to her with her contact, I think because of looking out onto the fingerboard and down onto the keys.  She also seems to have headaches more without the contact.

With her contact, though, she is a different kid.  Her temperament has been off the charts: happy.  As soon as she gets it in, she is over the moon.  I am thankful we found something so helpful to her.  I was completely unaware of what this would mean to her.

We are adjusting.  We have laughed and laughed while we fumble around, and screamed at other times.  All in all, all is well.