Happy New Year!

Isn't a new year so refreshing?  On January 1, Dallas and I completely vegged and did some planning for the year 2014, but when the calendar flipped to January 2, I felt so motivataed and recharged, ready to tackle my new goals.  I wish I could bottle up some of the new beginning feel for fall and beyond.  I even purchased a label maker.  Look out!

First, let's look back on 2013...

Last year was really good for us.  Really, really good.  I had the best birthday I've ever had a few weeks ago, turning 28.  It was the end of 2013, and I felt so incredibly blessed looking back and reflecting on the year. 

I think in part, I feel more aware than ever before, of the heart ache around us.  We have friends struggling with loss, broken marriages, disappointment, stressful relationships, health trouble, and the list goes on.  My heart literally breaks for them, and watching people you love endure pain is such a helpless feeling.  I know that everything won't be "perfect" for us forever (is it ever really perfect anyway?), and that is why I am so thankful for today, and for time.

2013 brought us our baby girl, Ruby.  You always wonder what life was like before those sweet little peas, don't you.  She has been an absolute joy, and I am daily reminded of how grateful I am to be those precious four's chosen mama.

Farming wasn't our best year.  It was hard at times, watching Dallas stress over decisions made, weather you can't control, finances, and the late hours get to be exhausting.  Yet, as always, we ended the year amazed at God's provision.  While circumstances made it a different year for us, my joy in farming felt so complete, and I finally felt at peace with my role as farmer's wife.  Thank you, Lord!

The end of 2013 leaves me not pregnant or nursing.  And, can I just say, I feel good!  I've lost 20 pounds in the last couple months, and feeling like I have my body back is lovely.  It sounds so selfish, and I have struggled with that (sounding selfish) so often.  While I will never, in a million years, take my pregnant/nursing days for granted (even on the worst days, I know they are a gift), there is blessing in being on this side of it.  I'm not tired (like I have felt for years), and I feel like our family is functioning so well, and benefiting, from having a wife and mommy who feels energetic and good.  Like I said, carrying a child is such a treasure.  But, I feel like I have realized in the last couple weeks that where I am today is good, too.

This Christmas was seriously the best.  As the kids get older, it gets better.  We were able to make it to five Christamses, five days in a row.  There were times I wanted to pull my hair out, for sure (13 hours in the car in 2 days??)!  But overall, it was a blast!  I am so thankful that we get along with each and every family as we do.  I know that is rare, and I am grateful.  We were able to host my family here at the farm, and I can't even begin to tell you what that means to me.  I desire, so much, for this home to continue to be a part of my sister's (and their families) lives.  I wanted my sisters to be able to come "home" for the holidays.  There are so many memories, especially around significant times of the year, at this place, and I want them to forever be a part of who we are.

2013 was good.  I sound overly, annoyingly, happy.  Don't I?!  The thing is; I'm not going to apologize for that.  I feel like there is so much out there about how hard everything is, how tired everyone feels, how much changing diapers stinks, how hard we work to put on snow gear for them to be in five minutes later, how messy frosting sugar cookies is, and on and on.  You know what?  I get that.  I live that.  I'm not going to wait for things to come crashing down, but I am also not naive enough to know that every year won't be as blessed as this. 

So for today: even though I'm tired, extremely needed (and feel like I have nothing left to give), feeling Mom guilt for a dozen different things, wearing nasty sweatpants and a dirty sweatshirt, and the list goes on, and on, and on: I am happy.  Really, really happy.

2013 was a blessed year.  I will give praise and thanks to God.