This morning, my Bible reading was:
2 Corinthians 4:7-10
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Psalm 43:4-5
There I will go to the altar of God, to God - the source of all my joy,
I will praise you with my harp, O God, my God!
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again -
my Savior and my God!
There I will go to the altar of God, to God - the source of all my joy,
I will praise you with my harp, O God, my God!
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again -
my Savior and my God!
Rewind to January...
Rod has surgery to reconstruct the rotator cuff in his shoulder.
Grandpa Ralph finds out he has cancer, and passes away one week later.
Bonnie is diagnosed with breast cancer, has surgery, and begins yucky treatments.
Rod is diagnosed with diabetes.
Then Saturday...
...Rod was working on a fertilizer tank (wagon looking thing). It was up on a forklift, with Rod underneath/to the side on his knees, when the tank began to slip and fell onto Rod, crushing him down and forward.
We knew right away he could feel and move his legs. There were so many ways the Lord protected him. Still, we all immediate felt fear of what could come of this, as well as the discouragement of "another kick in the pants."
You do what you got to do, so we dealt with children, waited for phone calls, then spent time together at the hospital. It's such a helpless feeling just staring at someone in an incredible amount of pain. The support of being there was all we could offer.
A compressed vertebrae (as in, 50% of what it used to be) and cracked vertebrae will have him laid up for a good while. The pain he felt, as he would yell out and grab his hospital bed, was horrible to see. Watching my husband's face, as he watched his father crying out, broke my heart. But seeing Dallas care for his dad, help him try to sit up, put his back brace on, sitting beside him helping him relax during spasms, etc.? That makes a wife proud.
Yesterday Bonnie was due for a treatment. The logistics of him at the hospital, her going to the cancer center, and the care for the two in the days to come, were a worry. Saturday night, Dallas and I decided that this is our season of life right now. They cared for my husband for 18 years. How could I be anywhere but with them now. In one year, this will all be a memory. A bone will heal and chemo will kill the cancer. We still have our parents, our children still have our grandchildren, and life is not to be taken granted of. In the meantime, we have the privilege of sitting with Bonnie during chemo, helping Rod walk, and offering our support and help over the next several months.
I worry about the added stress Dallas will feel. I worry about the protection and peace of my children, as this is the first day I have been with them since Saturday morning. I feel exhausted. Then I open my Bible, and read God's promises. Like this morning, He knows just what I need to hear.
What I have learned:
1. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be home. It allows me the freedom and flexibility to help where help is needed.
2. If this were my parents, I would not leave their side. It's not my parents, but it is the love of my life's. Seeing the tears in Dallas's eyes Saturday morning as he worried about his dad showed me how much he loves him. I will do my part to be Dallas's partner however best I can. Right now, it's caring for his mom and dad.
3. People are so generous and gracious. The help I've had with the kids, meals, offers, prayers, encouragement. It all means so much.
4. Life is but a vapor. This is earth. I yearn for the perfect heavenly world. Sitting in the cancer center with Bonnie for 3+ hours yesterday was a good reminder of how good our bad really is.
5. God is good, all the time. Even if cancer takes Bonnie's life and even if Rod's accident would have killed him, God would still be good. There are sure to be weak moments. But through it all, God remains faithful.
Would you please pray for them? Even send them a card of encouragement if you think of it? The next two weeks are going to be really rough for Bonnie, and Rod has some long days ahead of him. Still, their attitudes are amazing. Rod said Saturday night, "There's good in everything. You just have to find it." They could be feeling pretty lousy for themselves, but they're not. Please pray that this keeps up in the coming months. And pray for complete healing for both of them. We are certain that months from now, we are going to be celebrating good health. And what a celebration that will be!
Rod has surgery to reconstruct the rotator cuff in his shoulder.
Grandpa Ralph finds out he has cancer, and passes away one week later.
Bonnie is diagnosed with breast cancer, has surgery, and begins yucky treatments.
Rod is diagnosed with diabetes.
Then Saturday...
...Rod was working on a fertilizer tank (wagon looking thing). It was up on a forklift, with Rod underneath/to the side on his knees, when the tank began to slip and fell onto Rod, crushing him down and forward.
We knew right away he could feel and move his legs. There were so many ways the Lord protected him. Still, we all immediate felt fear of what could come of this, as well as the discouragement of "another kick in the pants."
You do what you got to do, so we dealt with children, waited for phone calls, then spent time together at the hospital. It's such a helpless feeling just staring at someone in an incredible amount of pain. The support of being there was all we could offer.
A compressed vertebrae (as in, 50% of what it used to be) and cracked vertebrae will have him laid up for a good while. The pain he felt, as he would yell out and grab his hospital bed, was horrible to see. Watching my husband's face, as he watched his father crying out, broke my heart. But seeing Dallas care for his dad, help him try to sit up, put his back brace on, sitting beside him helping him relax during spasms, etc.? That makes a wife proud.
Yesterday Bonnie was due for a treatment. The logistics of him at the hospital, her going to the cancer center, and the care for the two in the days to come, were a worry. Saturday night, Dallas and I decided that this is our season of life right now. They cared for my husband for 18 years. How could I be anywhere but with them now. In one year, this will all be a memory. A bone will heal and chemo will kill the cancer. We still have our parents, our children still have our grandchildren, and life is not to be taken granted of. In the meantime, we have the privilege of sitting with Bonnie during chemo, helping Rod walk, and offering our support and help over the next several months.
I worry about the added stress Dallas will feel. I worry about the protection and peace of my children, as this is the first day I have been with them since Saturday morning. I feel exhausted. Then I open my Bible, and read God's promises. Like this morning, He knows just what I need to hear.
What I have learned:
1. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be home. It allows me the freedom and flexibility to help where help is needed.
2. If this were my parents, I would not leave their side. It's not my parents, but it is the love of my life's. Seeing the tears in Dallas's eyes Saturday morning as he worried about his dad showed me how much he loves him. I will do my part to be Dallas's partner however best I can. Right now, it's caring for his mom and dad.
3. People are so generous and gracious. The help I've had with the kids, meals, offers, prayers, encouragement. It all means so much.
4. Life is but a vapor. This is earth. I yearn for the perfect heavenly world. Sitting in the cancer center with Bonnie for 3+ hours yesterday was a good reminder of how good our bad really is.
5. God is good, all the time. Even if cancer takes Bonnie's life and even if Rod's accident would have killed him, God would still be good. There are sure to be weak moments. But through it all, God remains faithful.
Would you please pray for them? Even send them a card of encouragement if you think of it? The next two weeks are going to be really rough for Bonnie, and Rod has some long days ahead of him. Still, their attitudes are amazing. Rod said Saturday night, "There's good in everything. You just have to find it." They could be feeling pretty lousy for themselves, but they're not. Please pray that this keeps up in the coming months. And pray for complete healing for both of them. We are certain that months from now, we are going to be celebrating good health. And what a celebration that will be!
Thinking of you, and of course, praying for you and Dal's family. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. You are a blessing, my friend.
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful heart, my dear sister.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for them! Reading about your time in the hospital and watching Dallas with his dad makes me cry. I pray you guys are able to get quality sleep when you can and have energy to be the blessings you already are!
ReplyDeleteWe love you all!
ReplyDelete