Fall funk.

This fall found me in a funk.  It was a funk I didn't care for one bit.  I could never pinpoint it, but I didn't like who I was in it, and I definitely didn't like how it made me feel.  While it wasn't a certain feeling or instance that got me there, I think it was a combination of things.  The culmination was my loneliness at the end of harvest season.  The icing on the cake was a husband discouraged with his crops, and though we have so much to be thankful for, we were just down in the dumps.

By Saturday, I was downright crabby.  Dallas was running ragged.  He had worked until 11:00 Friday night, then up at 5:00 the next morning for a church pheasant hunt, then straight back to the field.  I was hearing about everyone else doing fun things, enjoying the last of the fall weather, and I was jealous, irritated, emotional, and a big ol' grumps.

I am so thankful that it is very rare for me to get into this kind of mood.  God created me with a joyful spirit.  Pair that with positivity as one of my top five strengths, and life is pretty good.

After having a momentary meltdown Saturday afternoon, I got the kids and I ready, and we took off for church.  We were early, so were just driving, and came upon this beautiful sunset...

And this song was playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L945WWYWIvc

We pulled onto the side of the road and the kids and I just thanked God, right then and there, for His majesty.  They were just as amazed as I was with the colors and beauty of it all, and we talked about how the God of the universe who can paint such a beautiful picture in the sky, does the same beautiful things everyday in our lives.

At church, as I held my communion, I cried and cried.  Here I am, remembering Jesus Christ's body and blood shed for me.  Who am I to feel sorry for my pitiful little self, that really has very little to pity about?  Perspective shift.

That night when I got home, I picked up my book 10,000 Gifts again.  There is so much all around me.  When my head is down, it's hard to see.  So, pick myself up, and look around.  Blessings abound.

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This morning in MOPS, Mom gave encouragement about the fruit of the Spirit: JOY.  We were all invited to write a "joy," or "gifts," list.  I decided I'm not going to stop with this list, but rather keep them going...

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1. My salvation.  Even if nothing else made the list, this is enough.
2. The beautiful sunset that lifted my head from my valley.
3. My best friend and husband who I would choose over and over and over again.
4. My babies.  Even when they cry or say, "Mommy" 100x a day, praise God they have a voice.
5. Parents who love each other.
6. Sisters.
7. Food, and not only food, but so many choices.
8. Puzzles.
9. Hot cocoa.
10. My freedom and those who fought and are fighting for it.
11. Our church, PLC.
12. MOPS ministry and the opportunity to invest in the women there.
13. Fall colors and smells.
14. The different seasons.
15. Charlie's Carharts, John Deere hat, and work boots that sit right by his Daddy's.
16. My friends.
17. Our small group.
18. Good health.
19. Provision.
20. S'mores.
21. Yoga pants.
22. Talking in bed every night with Dallas.
23. All six of us in the combine.
24. Our babysitter, Melanie.
25. Watching Maleah learn how to water ski.
26. Our home.
27. Layla's comments that make me roll in laughter.
28. Watching the kids be pulled behind the 4-wheeler in the snow.
29. Listening to Maleah sing, play piano, and play violin.
30. The smell of a Christmas tree.
31. The pitter patter of the kids' feet upstairs.
32. Dancing in the kitchen.
33. Footed pajamas.
34. Watching the kids play on the beach.
35. Ruby's exploding vocabulary.