Thankful.

I have felt so convicted lately about my thought life. Days get long and sometimes hard. We are in the midst of dealing with preparing for a loss, and seeing my husband sad is so much worse than the sadness I feel myself. Layla is two. And two is difficult.

But this week, in the middle of all that is hard, I have constantly been reminded of God's goodness. He is so faithful and so good. We have far more than we deserve. I am so thankful.

Tuesday mornings. The Bible. Women to dive in with. I have just begun the study "Anointed, Transformed, and Redeemed." With only one week under my belt, I'm already feeling rejuvenated. The thought of me being handpicked by God is so overwhelming. I have so much more power with the Holy Spirit in me than I even realize. While I love the reassurance that I am His, I have also been reminded of Ephesians 4:1. "walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called." If that doesn't pull at the hearts string a little, what will. I can't wait to dig into the study more and see what God has in store for me.

MOPS. Hello. A delicious breakfast. Fabulous mom friends going through the exact same struggles and experiences the same joy as me. A stellar mentor mom with an incredible amount of wisdom. So thankful.

Grandparents. While we are dealing with seeing a dear, dear, grandfather on his way to his heavenly home, Dallas and I have realized how incredibly fortunate we are. We are only without one grandpa between the two of us. Our children know their great-grandparents, and see them often. They are so blessed. We are so blessed.

Nieces and Nephews. At Layla's party, we had all of our nieces and nephews together. Oh the joy that comes over me to see my children *love* being with their cousins. I feel such a special bond with each and every one of them. And the little boy we will be adding to the mix this summer. Oh how we have prayed and prayed for him. We can not wait to meet him. The joy he has already brought to our family is incredible. All twelve of our favorite little people are so loved.

Our children. They are each so unique. I brought Maleah out to Panera for a mommy-Maleah date. She was beside herself in gratitude. She prayed, "Thank you for my mommy letting me get hot chocolate." Maleah, you are the very sweetest little girl. Always so thankful and usually very obedient, respectful, and loving. Layla brings so much life to our house. When you run circles around us at supper, we try to be stern. But really we love it because it's so you. And Charlie boy. I can not even begin to tell you what you have done for me. To think of the sadness that overcame me when I was pregnant with you. My sister was supposed to be having babies, not me. I thought you would be a constant reminder of her sadness. But your daddy spoke truth to me. He told me that the devil was stealing my joy. And our prayer for you changed. I can not imagine my life without you now. And right around the time of your birth, the Lord was knitting a perfect little play mate for you in your aunt's womb. You will be exactly nine months older than their source of hope and joy. And that's exactly what you were for us too.

My husband. Seriously, what would I do without my companion. I praise God daily for you. You are so much more than I deserve. I am absolutely crazy about you.

I am so thankful. Thank you Lord.

(seriously, what's up with the funky font sizes. i swear i've been trying to fix it for far too long now. sorry!!!)