It's 7:30 on Mother's Day evening, and all the little ones are sound asleep from a day full of goodness. I have so many thoughts swimming around in my spaghetti brain.
If I were to be honest, it kind of feels like every day is Mother's Day. I have always dreamt of being a mommy. I knew it was what God wanted me to do with my life, and I felt so excited in that. So, every single day I feel overwhelmingly grateful to be doing what I truly love and imagined about so many years. Even on the bad days, I am living somebody else's dream.
But, Mother's Day is a nice day to set apart, isn't it? Make it special. Feel appreciated. Bask in the beauty around me. Be pampered a bit.
At church this morning, we were singing and I was looking around. There were so many beautiful women; some with corsages on, some holding babies, and some with gray hairs. And then boom, I saw him. The single dad who had his sweet Jillian dedicated the same day as Layla. Jillian is one of my very favorite little girls in the preschool wing, and her mama died shortly after she was born of heart arrhythmia (no real reason). I remember Pastor John praying over Jillian, that she would not be bitter growing up without a mom, and that God would protect her. Here we are on Mother's Day, celebrating, while five-year-old Jillian doesn't even have a mom. I started crying. And I couldn't stop.
My mind went back to our conversation in the van this morning. To say Dallas and I are tired is an understatement. After him working 102 hours this week, we felt like zombies. I made the flippant statement in the car, "Eh...we will sleep when we are dead." Layla piped up from the back seat, "I won't!" Maleah said, "Me either! I'll be dancing, singing, and praising God!" Layla responded, "We won't even care about sleep!" They are so wise in such a precious way.
Jillian's mom was celebrating today. While I ache for the sadness of Jillian hearing all the other little children talk about Mother's Day, her mom is dancing. Right then, when all this was weighing heavy on my heart, we sang the words to "10,000 Reason." And on that day when my strength is failing. The end draws near and my time has come. Still my soul will sing your praise unending. Ten thousand years and then forevermore. Tears, tears, and more tears. Praise the Lord!
Here's the deal. I don't know everyone's story. But they have all have one.
Sometimes I think about my opportunity to raise these little souls, and it almost takes my breath away. Is there anything more worth my while? I am a mom. I am their mom. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but for today I am theirs and they are mine. Life can be so short, and little earthly things that seem so big get in the way. I never want to lose sight of the gift of being a mom. I have all my babies with me everyday, I still have my beautiful mother to share life with, and I am surrounded by a multitude of mom friends that I absolutely adore.
For some reason, Mother's Day hit me different this year. I am blessed. So very, very blessed.
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